Ask the WDG Friday
Peter Stone asks, "What is the etiquette for ties--such as ties that refuse to stay in the proper place?"
That is an excellent question indeed, Herr Stein; I think almost all gents can sympathize with this dilemma. You're walking down the lane, a breeze comes along and whips your tie into your face. Some smart fellow walking past at that moment says, "Nice weather for kites, isn't it?" You resist the urge to hurl a brick at the man--out of virtue, perhaps, but especially because you haven't a brick on hand at the moment.
Or, if you've the nerve to read such a potential situation of horror, imagine this: You're walking down the lane, and, after you don't throw the brick, you see a female of astoundingly beautiful aspect walking toward you. You're not married either, and so as you saunter past you say, "Hell--" That's all you get out, because yet another breeze has tossed your tie into your face, hobbling your suave "hello there" just as it began to trot out of the gate. There goes that particular wifely possibility.
Blessedly, there are options, brilliant options, to prevent this scenario from becoming reality.
1) Wear a three-piece suit. Not only do they look smashing, and dapper to a degree, the vest prevents this lamentable tie-flapping situation.
2) Use a tie clip. This is, well, a clip, often of gold, silver or other precious metal, and it clips your tie to your shirt; and they look grand.
3) What I think is the best solution after a three-piece suit: a tie chain! This device has a clip which attaches to the shirt, but hides behind the shirt; attached to the clip is a loose chain. Again, these are often, but not always, of gold, silver, etc. The tie goes between the chain and the clip--only the chain showing--and looks the picture of elegance.
4) The tie-tack. For me, this is not a solution to recommend. It works alright, as would super glue, but the tack, or pin, goes through your tie. If you're like me, you don't want to put holes in your ties or smear them with glue; the ties I mean, not the holes.
Kites are awesome (though the string is sometimes hazardous), just don't use your tie for one. Flapping ties also make a gentleman appear to be not-all-together, and that's not an appearance for a gentleman.
Oh, one last note--be prepared! If you're planning on keeping your two-piece suit buttoned up, plan on it being--despite your sure knowledge to the contrary--unbuttoned at some point, and in view of all. A gentleman should be as prepared as possible for any eventuality--if you're not wearing a three-piece suit, bring a tie-clip or tie-chain along for the ride. Your married future may depend on it.
Toodle-pip!
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