A Purer Gentlemanliness

[Before getting on with this post, I’m afraid that the Well-Groomed Gentleman, our tie-expert, due to some personal matters, will no longer be joining us. We wish him well and all good, and perhaps one day he'll find he's able to rejoin our Gentleman’s Club for Gentlemen.]

So, you fancy yourself quite the gent, a veritable preux chevalier! You hold doors open for women and children; you don’t smite lumbering, side-walk blocking people with your umbrella, though you are sorely tempted to do so; you’ve a kind word for all, and you scatter sunshine, patience and kindness hither and yon. You've never burned down an orphanage either, nor thrown a brick at a cat. And the store window reflects back at you the visage of the proverbial "man about town!"

And then you get home. The gentlemanly semblance of hours' past dissipates like the morning dew and you find yourself being short with your wife and kids; getting angry at some trivial nonsense; interrupting people whilst they're speaking; and even, yes, slurping your soup and putting your elbows on the table! Good gracious man, what has become of you!?

Behold, gentlemen! This is where we gain a purer vision of how much the gentleman we really are—in truth, and not in our own fond fantasies. This is not an easy measurement to take. It's tough to see that in very truth we treat those we love as we wouldn't treat, for example, an annoying close-talker who won't leave us in peace.

I say "we" because I'm in the same boat. But this isn't about despair--when we know the truth, THEN we can really start to make something of ourselves, first in our families, with the people that we owe the best of what we can give rather than the remains of the day.

The real gentleman isn't perfect, actually--but he never stops working at it, humbly admitting his wrongs, and trying every day to do a good bit better.

As St. Francis De Sales said, "Have patience with everything, especially with yourself."

And if we meet on the sidewalk one day and you're blocking my way, watch for my umbrella.

Pip-pip!