The Fedora Hat Tip...

...goes to but one great website this week:  The Houndstooth Kid. What is this awesome gentleman's site about?  In the words of the Houndstooth Kid:  "The purpose of this blog is to point out both the common and obscure aspects of 1930s-1950s men's style and how it affects us today. Vintage style has and is still influencing the way we dress and generally live our lives. Everything we wear today is derived from earlier styles that have been tweeked in certain ways depending upon the latest fashion.

Here we will look at both the earlier "pure" style as well as how that style is being taken and tweeked today, for both the good and the bad."

Wonderful stuff here.  

And now for tonight's post...

Seasons?  Dash Seasons—it’s Proper Etiquette, Man!

{The “Etiquetted” Gentleman II} 

This phrase is perhaps or perhaps not uttered countless times a day in cities, towns, and even hamlets.  Why?  What does it all mean?  In one word:  Gloves. 

Gloves have become an item donned merely due to cold weather, rather than to proper etiquette.  It used to be, however, that gloves were worn (by gentlemen and ladies) in the street, at an evening party, to the theatre (and/or opera), when riding a horse, driving a car, or going to church.  They were not worn in the country or at dinner.

What has happened?  How has glove etiquette become practically extinct?  It is, maybe, the same ill attitude that finds dressing-up every day a relic from the ancient world (pre-1960 AD), from which we have been blessed to be freed. 

Freed from dressing like a gentleman?  Nonsense!  I would even say "Pish."  By dressing-up one shows respect for oneself and for people in the general vicinity.   What's more, a well-dressed gentleman wields a curious power--vis, a handsome wardrobe elevates and refines society, and also causes women to swoon.  Lest anyone think I'm talking through my hat, there was an interesting study done some years back with classical music. Classical music was played through public speakers in a park where crime was commonplace.  After a while of ‘round the clock classical music, the crime rates in the park plummeted and women were swooning all over the place.  There is something about the very atmosphere of a place, I would wager in sight as well as sound, which does indeed have a wondrous effect on society. 

But back to gloves qua gloves.  Gloves are a classic element of a gentleman’s wardrobe.  And when speaking of gloves it is to be understood that we are speaking of fine leather gloves, which come in a variety of weights with a variety of insulation strengths for various seasons. They don't have to be expensive, either.  I found some great brown leather gloves for 20 bucks at Overstock.com

Speaking of color, black gloves go with black and grey outfits, brown goes with the rest. Some lads even wear a shade of yellow gloves (which would go well with a blue ensemble--goes with black, too, if you don't mind being taken for an unusually large specimen of bee). There are times when white gloves are required, though this is perhaps rare for most men these days.  One would wear white gloves, for example, with formal wear when attending a ball, or checking for dust. 

In addition, gloves keep grime, germs and bacteria off the hands.  Especially important in the days of swine flu.  Think of all the doors and the like you come into contact with all the day--you can be spared many of the germs thereof.  For example, when you take your gloves off and rub your eyes out of sheer weariness you won't be imparting so many germs into them.  

Finally, and in spite of taking a chance on stating the obvious, gloves don’t work when wearing a polo-short, t-shirt and the like.  To be at their best, gloves need to be paired with a suit, or nice pants and a sport coat (say, grey flannel pants and a blue blazer).  Gloves can work with a nice sweater as well.  I suppose the point is, gloves and short-sleeve shirts don’t mix. 

And need it even be said?  Wearing gloves is simply dapper.

Tie Wisdom Tuesdays

I am pleased to announce a new addition to the WDG:  Tie Wisdom Tuesdays with the Well-Groomed Gentleman. How did we manage to get this tie expert to write for the WDG?  Simply, the wily machinations of fate.  Tie Wisdom Tuesday begins!  I introduce you to the Well-Groomed Gentleman without further ado...

"La Cravate, c'est l'homme," declares noted French author and playwright Honoré de Balzac: "The tie -- it is the man."  With much respect to St. Benedict and his brethren, we feel more sympathy with Balzac than with the monastic aphorism, "Cucullus non facit monachum." Whereas the cowl (or the habit) does not make the monk, the necktie -- properly chosen and tied -- does fittingly complete the well-dressed gentleman's ensemble.

Ornamenting the neck with decorative fabric is of ancient origin and custom.  Although shrouded in the mists of time, and found in cultures as diverse as Egypt, China, and Ancient Rome, the modern necktie traces its true roots to the people of Croatia and her soldiers in French employ during the Thirty Years' War (1618-1648).  Owing to linguistic modification, the "Croats" became "Cravats" and their role of constricting the necks of adolescent boys became forever enshrined in sartorial history.

The modern necktie arrives to the well-dressed gentleman in a variety of fabrics, patterns, colors, and widths.  Excluding the bow-tie, which is certainly elegant and formal, our focus begins with the basic tie.  Fashioned into a single knot, and hanging down the length of the torso to approximately the belt-buckle, the tie is an essential element to the well-dressed gentleman.  The tie may be paired with a dress-shirt alone or worn with a sweater, a three-piece suit, or simply a sport coat.

The WDG has invited me to share some bits of "Tie Wisdom" on Tuesdays.  We'll cover tie selection, both of material, pattern, and colors; we'll examine some historical expressions of the tie; and we'll delve in depth to the art of tying the tie.  The classic four-in-hand, the half-Windsor, and the ever-popular full Windsor are only three of the knots known to well-dressed (and "well-tied") gentlemen.  We certainly can't ignore the unconventional Shelby knot, nor the dozens of other vintage styles that provide a certain flourish to the Adam's apple.

We will include videos and other pictures of each step in tying these famous knots, suggestions for pairing the pattern and color of ties, and even for choosing the appropriate method of tying them depending on the circumstances.

Next Tuesday?  The basic four-in-hand knot.  My thoughts conclude, however, with a paean to my father, and fathers everywhere, who are duty-bound to pass on the time-honored tradition of grooming to their sons.  Tie-tying is an essential element of this responsibility: if you haven't learned from your dad, fret not, and we shall teach you, so your sons may too have the joy of emulating the paternal elegance and simple joy of perfectly tying that bit of cloth 'round their necks.

The Well-Groomed Gentleman

What does the Gentleman's Wardrobe Lack?

And the answer is: your wardrobe lacks...something.  I have no idea what it is.  Mine lacks a few things as well:  a greater variety of cuff-links, more ties, and a grey fedora to go with black or dark- grey ensembles.  The wardrobe of 99% of gentlemen is in need of something.  

There's a great line about this very thing (a cloth's line) in one of the A & E Jeeves and Wooster episodes.  Jeeves, for reasons we won't go into here (it has to do with a trombone) has given notice. In this scene he is explaining to Bertie's new valet what his (the new valet's) duties will be.  While Jeeves is explaining Bertie's Wardrobe the new valet says, "Has enough clothes, hasn't he?"  And Jeeves replies,"Very nearly..."  And this is always true!  There is forever something else that the good old wardrobe requires.  

Is there a positive spin to this?  Should one be discouraged?  Did you notice the clothing related pun in the preceding paragraph?  If your answer to any of these questions is yes or no, then do I have good news for you:  it's normal.  Not your answers, I mean the need for something else--it may be a pair of leather gloves, black oxfords, or a bowler hat.  

But a gentleman needs to be patient:  It takes years to build up a decent, workable wardrobe. Take heart, don't despair, eventually you will find that you have everything you need--except for that.

It's not as simple of course as smacking the forehead and saying, "Dolt that I am, THAT'S what I need!" and then popping out to get said item.  A large portion of the trouble is lack of funds. That's actually one of the reasons for this website--to demonstrate, in mysterious and often not so obvious ways, that a gentleman can be quite low on funds and still acquire, over time, a very nice ensemble. It just takes a lot of patience, and humility.  Humility, you ask?  Indeed.  When one is not wealthy, and perhaps even poor (being a gentleman does not take money--it takes character), one has to go to such places as one can afford.  Where can one find Johnston and Murphy or Sandro Moscolini shoes, great sport jackets, leather gloves, three piece suits (even Burberry and Armani at times), and yes Barbour jackets, for a song?  Here's where the humility comes in--gently used items from EBay, or a thrift store (such stores are popping up everywhere, in fact) are the places to look.  I do not advocate used underwear, socks, or under shirts.  Not at all.  Such stores do not even sell them (not the places I shop anyway).   But the items I've mentioned can be had for almost nothing, simply because someone wants a new pair of shoes, or the old shoes are a little bit worn, or some fellow just doesn't wear that suit anymore, or the Barbour jacket never was their thing. Sure, the shoes or jacket are used, but it's worth it to have a nice wardrobe.  No one else will even know, and eventually it seems like the items were always yours to begin with.  

And don't forget the humor.  None of this is life and death after all. In fact, it's supposed to be fun.

One final note for tonight:  If you're in need of taking things in a lighter vein, or if you're having a tough day, I highly suggest reading books by PG Wodehouse (of Jeeves and Wooster fame).  As one reviewer said, "It's impossible to be sad while reading Wodehouse--and I've tried."  I have too, and he's entirely correct.  

Now, where can I get that grey Fedora...

Ask the Well-Dressed Gentleman Friday

You're Going to have Toupe for that!  

This week we received an urgent question from one Alistair Grey, who asks, "What do you think of a gentleman using stern measures (fake hair) to cover his hairless head?"

Alistair, that is a real corker of a question!   And it is not as easy as "yes" or "no."  Some men do resort to the toupe, and some men just, well, "take it like a man," and accept the fate that God has dealt them.  I rather incline to this view.  But here is why, beginning with some examples:  

Sean Connery--balding when he was doing James Bond, he always wore a toupe in the Bond movies, simply because Ian Flemming pictured Bond as a guy with hair; when his roles allowed he let all the world see his bare head;

Fred Astaire--only in movies did he wear a piece, off-screen wearing a hat;

 

Humphrey Bogart--always wore a toupe in film, but off screen his bald head was revealed for all to see without the slightest bit of embarrassment on his part.  

What makes the difference?  Three things:  1, they weren't afraid to accept the hand they were dealt, deciding to honorably and courageously face the death of their hair follicles; 2, they had self-confidence; and 3, they were charming fellows.  

Be confident, meet your destiny with bravery, and turn on the charm.  I don't imagine that anyone, having met Sean Connery, afterwards said, "Charming fellow, but the top portion has a strong resemblance to the Dome of St. Peters in Rome."  When a gentleman is funny, charming, witty, self-confident, kind, all that good stuff, no one notices the baldness.  

And consider this:  men who can't provoke enough facial hair to gather don't normally glue on a false beard  (unless they're hiding from their enemies).  Is lack of hair on the top any different?  I think not.  

Now, some of my fellow gentlemen out there may bring up Sinatra. True, Franky wore a toupe later in life. He also wore a false beard. No, wait, got my notes mixed up--Franky just had the toupe.  But this is really an exception--after all, he did it his way.  

Charm--remember, it makes up for almost any other defect.  When charm is combined with a fine ensemble (I mean clothing, not a group of musicians) it is well-nigh irresistible!    

The WDG Tips His Fedora to...

www.fineanddandyshop.com  Accessories for Dapper Guys  A treasure trove of gentlemanly necesseties, Charles Henry runs an awesome site.  You'll find great stuff here.  And--God will bless him mightily for this--pocket squares at a reasonable price!  As happens quite often, the best description of a blog is in the words of the proprieter, in this case describing the dapper fellows for whom the site exists :  He doesn't believe in Casual Friday, nor thinks of getting dressed each day as a chore. He has an appreciation for the well dressed gentlemen of yesteryear and is inspired by their unabashed use of accessories. This shop is for that modern man looking for the finishing details to truly be fine and dandy.

www.hatsharpening.com The 1920's and 30's.  Spats.  Valets.  Butlers.  Jeeves and Wooster. Although Derek Keevil isn't updating the site much anymore, it is just about tops for PG Wodehouse's Jeeves and Wooster.  The shows are brilliant, and starring Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.  There you will find photos, music, books related to the 20's and 30's and Jeeves and Wooster.  A classic site.  

www.james-smith.co.uk  They're expensive, yes--but they make the best umbrellas in, perhaps, the known universe.  If you're blessed to be in London sometime, you can find their emporium at:

James Smith & Sons Ltd

Hazelwood House

53 New Oxford Street

London WC1A 1BL. 

But at the very least, do visit their website, if for no other reason than to say, "I want one of those"; this will inevitably lead you, I should in fairness add, to spend money that should otherwise go to your mortgage (or perhaps to flowers and a night on the town with your wife) on an umbrella--but you will be dry, and stylish.  

And with that, my fellow gents, I bid you good evening (or, as the French say, "bon soir," which literally means, "happy shopping.")

O Tempora! O Mores! (O the Times! O the Manners!)

The “Etiquetted” Gentleman I

Some of the most crucial rules of etiquette pertain to the proper treatment of those human beings known as women.  And so, in this first installment of “The ‘Etiquetted’ Gentleman” (I know, it’s an incorrigible jeu de mots) we take a look at, well, women—that is, proper etiquette towards women.     

If you’re a man with working corneas, you can’t have helped but to notice that women in our day, despite all the bluster about ‘feminism" have rather gone backwards in regard to actual respect, as they have been treated in the past century ‘til now as they have never been treated in the whole history of the world.  That is to say, it’s not that how they are treated is totally new, but that the disrespect shown to them is on a scale simply unimaginable in times past. 

What does this mean, exactly?  For one, many women treat themselves, and we are complicit, like dashed objects.  For example, we should, being gentlemen, rather tell them to put some better, more thorough coverage on, but instead, many men simply look on and encourage matters.  In addition, women are constantly told by the media and the like not only to wear less, and thus end up being stared at by men, but also to demand to be treated like men—no holding doors open for women; no doffing the hat;  please, no, keep you’re seat, mister, I’ll stand; etc and so on. 

There is surely a lot of chatter about respect, but the word, like so many in our days, seems to have been divorced from reality.  In fact, to stem any confusion, we should probably define our terms: 

Women:

1. Women are not men. 
2. Women and men are equal in dignity, but are, for goodness sakes, not the same. 
3. Vivre le difference! 

Respect:

1. Worthy of esteem
2. To refrain from obtruding upon.

All that is to say, women should be treated as women, and men as men; women are good at some things, men are good at others; and the difference is not simply physical—after 2 seconds talk with a woman, a man (at least one that is not half asleep or dead) will realize that here is someone quite different from himself, someone not only attractive and who thinks in a completely different way, but someone also quite dangerous when riled.  In the words of Adam when he first encountered Eve, “Whoa.”  Yes indeed, "whoa," in so many ways.  It will also occur to a fellow that here is a person, rather than a thing. 

All of the gentleman’s proper treatment (etiquette) concerning women stems from these realities. Building on this solid foundation, we get to proper mores.  Here are the basics:

1. A gentleman does not goggle at a woman, be it in person or in various media; that initial “whoa” reaction to a pretty lady is, of course, normal; but staring, ogling, is different and to be absolutely avoided. 
2. A gentleman holds the door open for a woman; if she insists after 2 or 3 invitations that you do not hold the door open, let her have her way.
3. Always give up your seat for a woman if you are able.  Again, if she refuses, drop it after or 2 or 3 tries.
4. When walking with a woman on a roadway or sidewalk the man always walks on the side closest to the road, or the outside part of the sidewalk (same goes for walking with children—the gentleman is always on the outside).  This is not only polite, it is a protective measure, ensuring a car does not come too close to her, and that mud or water or dust does not splash on the lady (or children).
5. Try to always have a handkerchief available for a woman.
6. Do not attempt to shake a woman’s hand unless she offers her hand first; it is entirely her prerogative. 
7. If she does offer her hand, do not squeeze or retain her hand.

In fact, we can sum up gentlemanly etiquette towards women in two words:  esteem and protection. 

We esteem them, and so we protect them—from mud, water, dangerous people, stares, discomfort, rudeness, and too familiar attention (including our encouraging modest dress and voicing dismay at a lack of clothing, because that lack leads to an invasion of the woman’s privacy, indeed by any stranger happening by). 

Esteem and Protection for all women—that is the “etiquetted” gentleman’s code when it comes to the fairer sex.   

Every Gentleman Needs a Good Barbour

They won’t cut your hair, or give you a shave with a straight blade, but they will keep the elements at bay and provide international style.  No, not your barber (though perhaps a really spectacular one could do these things), a Barbour.  It’s not a Jacket:  It’s THE jacket.

John Barbour began his company in 1894, the same year, coincidentally, that Shakespeare proclaimed, "Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy; For the apparel oft proclaims the man."  Perhaps Shakespeare had the Barbour waxed jacket in mind when he wrote that (though some scholars dispute this possibility).  

Nevertheless, the Barbour is the jacket par excellence for the discerning gentleman.  It is, to begin, the only garment in the world that has been granted three royal coats of arms:  By appointment to Her Majesty the Queen, By appointment to the Prince of Wales, and By appointment to the Duke of Edinburgh.  And there is good reason for this.  The Barbour waxed jackets are simply the best designed jackets of their kind, and the Barbour jacket is an international badge of being a member of the international scene.  

And it is a beautiful jacket.  In truth, if you were off to the opera and had to choose between a poorly cut and/or outdated suit or blue jeans, sweater and a Barbour jacket, you would be, oddly enough, considered well-dressed wearing the Barbour jacket (but not if you chose the ill-fitting suit).  Such is the power of the Barbour waxed jacket. 

The waxed jacket does have to be re-waxed about once or twice a year; if it’s not kept waxed it will lose its waterproof qualities.  And not only is it water proof, it is also wind-proof, and many of the Barbour jackets are thorn proof, because it’s a country and hunting jacket as well as a shopping jacket, or a going into town jacket. 

They are, needless to say perhaps, a bit pricey—about 300 US dollars.  Yet, there is hope!  Two reasons: 1, they do not go out of style—having an older Barbour jacket simply says, “I’ve been in the club since I was, oh, about this tall.” Barbours are even passed from one generation to the next.  And 2, you can find Barbours in excellent condition on EBay.  The Well Dressed Gent obtained one for 80 bucks about 5 years back. 

There are various styles, and you can get descriptions of them all at www.barbour.com. 

There's also tons of pocket space for sundry gentlemanly accessories, the snaps and zippers are brass, you can get an insulated liner that snaps in place, and these jackets last practically forever.  If it needs refurbishing, Barbour is always ready to fix it up for you (no idea on the cost for this though, which is good--the WDG's jacket has never needed more than standard re-waxing).   

And a gentleman is always well-dressed wearing a Barbour jacket. 
 

Ask the Well-Dressed Gentleman

Due to the quantity of questions, we had to narrow it down to two. But you can send your questions on gentleman's style and etiquette anytime, any day.   Check back every Friday for more questions and answers, which may lead to more questions than answers.  

"Dr. Crippin" asks:  What sort of tie goes with a tweed jacket?  My ties look too thin with them!

Dr. Crippin, men have been asking this question since the early 100's BC, when Roman soldiers wore a scarf called a "focale" to protect the neck area from chafing against the armor they wore. As we know, one Saturninus Plicus, upset that his focale was of a lighter weight than the men he commanded, sent a letter of frustration to Julius Caesar about this that directly led to the Gallic Wars (59-51 BC).   What a lesson for all of us who endeavor to wear tweed jackets and suits.  

Tweed of course is a heavy fabric, and a tweed jacket should be worn with trousers of a heavy material.  The tie, for either a tweed jacket or a tweed suit, ought to be of a corresponding weight; vis, a thick tie is what tweed must have.  The tie can in fact be of any fabric, heavy or light-- what matters is how it is woven.  The WDG has a silk tie that is heavily knitted (from Land's End) that goes smashingly with a tweed jacket or suit.  Let us only keep in mind Saturninus Plicus--Heaven knows we don't need ANOTHER Gallic war.  

Nicholas Blixley asks:  What are a man's options for jewelry type accessories?

Nicholas, that is a very good question.  For men, jewelry options are slim, and for no capricious reason:  Too much jewelry makes a man look like a woman.  A man may wear a wedding ring on his left hand, and on his right not more than two rings, where one usually contains a nice stone.  

Some men wear a chain of some sort, of gold or silver, which, if not overdone, can work as well.  

Another method of proper gentlemanly jewelry is a watch.  Many have diamonds or other stones on the outside, or encased under the crystal; or it may be a watch, say a Rolex, that is made of gold; another version of a jewelry-type watch is a dial through which one can see the inner gears working.  

As for earrings, this may grate against the sensibilities of some, but I can only say this:  if you are not either a woman, a pirate, or both, don't wear earrings.  If you happen to be a woman AND a pirate, you can probably wear as many as you like.  

With that we bid you a good Friday, and we say, "Pip-pip, gents!"

  

We doff our Fedora to...

Dandyism.net  We cannot say it better than the Dandyism website: 

Like the dandy, Dandyism.net aims to be effortlessly elegant, caustically witty, coldly superior and dryly amusing. Its editorial policy is caprice. It turns its diabolical monocle on the past and present to dispassionately decree who’s a dandy and who’s not, who is innovative and who is eccentric, who is classic and who is bland, who is dashing and who is ostentatious, who sets styles and who is a slave to fashion.

As a result, readers have called the site:

“Infuriatingly snooty”

“Fusty, philistine claptrap”

“Vitriolic, caustic and without humor”

“Cocksure”

“Rather pathetic”

Yes, this website is worth a bunch o' visits.

asuitablewardrobe.com  Will shares his thoughts on all manner of style, from tweed to bow ties, with links a' plenty.

hangerproject.com  "The best hangers for the best clothes."

And with that, we tip our Fedora to you, good gents...

Ask the Well-Dressed Gentleman, The Fedora Hat Tip, and a Dress Shirt Faux Pas

Introducing two new segments on The Well-Dressed Gent:

1. Ask the Well-Dressed Gentleman! Have a question on etiquette, clothing, accessories? Wondering what to do in the various tricky situations that life heaves at a fellow? Send your questions, perplexities and conundrums to the Well-Dressed Gentleman. You will also thereby benefit other lads of the Gentleman’s Club for Gentlemen who are baffled and vexed by life’s mysteries. Every Friday the WDG will endeavor to answer one or more of your inscrutable perplexities.

2. The Fedora Hat Tip Every Wednesday the Well-Dressed Gentleman will doff his Fedora to various intriguing websites of gentlemanly aspect. Will we eventually run out of wise, gentlemanly websites towards which to steer you? Never! And certainly not if you send us some of your own treasured finds.

Send your questions and Fedora Hat Tips to welldressedgentleman@gmail.com or click on the link to the right. And if you can, link to our site!

A Dress Shirt Faux Pas

There are various and sundry pitfalls into which a fellow may plummet. No doubt we can all attest to a time that we wore, as Bertie Wooster, the proverbial "white mess jacket" (well, Bertie wore a real one--a type of dress jacket, at least in the early 1900's, to be worn in Caan, but not to dinner at an English country estate. Perhaps needless to say, Jeeves' attempt to correct Bertie took time and sagacity). The "white mess jacket" of which we here speak is: The short sleeve "dress shirt." In a word, there is no such thing as a short sleeve "dress shirt." A wise lesson that my mother taught me when I was but a lad. Paste it into your hat--"there is no such thing as a short sleeve 'dress shirt'."

But to be fair, I may be speaking out of turn in re our brothers that live along the equator. The equator is not only a place where a thick line encompasses the globe (and is visible from space), but it's also a place that is always dashed hot. So there, maybe, it is a proper dress shirt. But for the rest of us gentlemen--cringe, cringe with a healthy fear when you hear the words "short sleeve dress shirt."

Spectacular Watch! Can You Slice an Apple with It?

Little details round off and polish a gentleman's overall appearance. They enrich our lives, and reveal something about the gentleman that wears or carries them,  displaying his personality in subtle flourishes; this is particularly so when the gentleman uses the same meticulous care in choosing these objects (one may even say, object d'arts) as he does in choosing his dress shirts, suits, shoes and ties.  

These daily objects d'arts can be items like a leather wallet, fine watch (a pocket watch is known in some circles as a sign of particularly fine taste), pocket knife, cotton or silk handkerchief, umbrella, cuff links or appetizing items like a pipe and a pouch of tobacco. They may be items with a special significance to the wearer.  

And in various ways, people do notice these things.  

My apologies to those who wear them habitually, but for example, one notices when a fellow is wearing a very cheap watch with a rubber band. There are places for such a watch: Camping trips, gardening and the like. But out and about, it is the height of garishness, the more so because in our day it is so easy to obtain a fine watch at minimal cost--discontinued models, for example, are readily available.  Otherwise, we risk blushing a deep red hue as a lady inquires the time of us and we expose our digital Casio. 

From poor quality we can also sink to being utterly unprepared.  The Boy Scout motto "Be Prepared" is also a gentlemanly motto, and well worth following. Consider these chilling scenarios:

The Missing Blade:  A friend, yourself, a child, a lady, need a package opened or an apple sliced. And all you've got is a nice watch.  Quite the let down, quite the unsliced apple.  If only you had a Swiss Army knife.  "If only" rarely fits the bill though.  Thankfully, good quality knives, with various implements or a single blade, are easy to find and not too expensive. Once, having my knife (Swiss Army), I was even able to correct a spot I missed when I had shaved earlier in the day.  Gutsy yes, possibly stupid, but manly, both in preparedness and risk taking.  

Pardon Me, I Seem to have Sprung a Leak:  Dripping. There is but one option for the gentleman:  a cotton (or silk if you've got buckets o' money) handkerchief. Otherwise, one may end up using one's sleeve, which is not only poor form but may leave stains upon the fabric.

The Sky is Falling:  The Umbrella.  One can risk looking like a drowned duck, or one can carry an umbrella. There are various types, the best being, of course, English, for the simple fact that it rains there with frequency.  But regardless of where you obtain your umbrella, get a good one--inferior umbrellas not only do not look dashing, they have a horrid tendency to turn inside out at the slightest breeze, which looks dashed silly. I would add that a long umbrella is the best choice--it provides plentiful space underneath to help a stranded fellow human being, they can be used as a walking stick, or to stave off an unfriendly dog (or human).  

It does take some time to build up these accessories, but it is well worth it.  And all of these objects can be had for a minimal price if one is patient--EBay, Amazon, thrift stores, sales at gentleman's clothing stores.  

It is a wonderful feeling to have at hand exactly what the moment requires, and not only for the gentleman, but for those round about, who will say "Wow--is there anything you are not prepared for?  And that is a really nice watch..."

The Breakfast of Gentleman (Breakfast or Breakfasted?)

In a perfect world, a fellow would wake up around 9:30-ish, sans alarm clock (being awoken rather by his valet or his own internal alarm clock), and then breakfast in style.  But this is not a perfect world.  You can tell, because buzzers, like ballistic missiles exploding over one's head, jar a fellow out of bed at an hour that seems like a practical joke.  An inauspicious start to the day, quite unfitting for a gentleman.  But what is a man to do?  Can most of us afford a valet? Can we wake up when we jolly well please?  Can we breakfast in style? Yes!  I quickly add, lest I endanger any of my fellow gents with bodily harm, I do not mean one's wife is the answer to having a valet--referring to one's wife as "my valet" will only end in severe bruising and, possibly, the red imprint of her slender but deadly hand on your cheek.   What then is the answer to this riddle?

How can I afford my own valet?  Perhaps the most brilliant alarm system ever concocted is Voco (see links on this page), the alarm clock that talks.  Specifically, Stephen Fry, who played Bertie Wooster's valet Jeeves in the A& E series Jeeves and Wooster, gently encourages the preux chevalier to wake up and face the world.  Your valet has around 130 phrases to employ in this sensitive task.  

Can I wake up when I jolly well please?  Yes.  But this works in reverse.  If you have to arise at 7 am, you can indeed wake up anytime you wish, as long as it is prior to 7 am.  This sounds perhaps not so encouraging.  Yet, there are benefits: 1, you can control when you get up, and 2, rising 30 minutes earlier will provide the gentleman with enough time to breakfast in style; and there is a big difference between eating breakfast like a ravenous animal that is late for work, and breakfasting like a gentleman.  

Can I breakfast in style?  Here we come to the piece de resistance (literally, "the part that I resist because I'd rather sleep longer").  Style and class are revealed in the details, both in a gentleman's clothing and in his character, and he is ever ready to bring beauty into his daily life: those sterling cuff links, the fine watch, the robe he wears at home; how he comports himself with dignity and humility; how he goes out of his way to assist someone in need.  This character extends even to breakfast, and such a breakfast is highly enjoyable in itself.  

Most of us have to hand a collection of silver utensils and fine china that we use only once or twice (maybe not at all)  throughout the year.  Of course, this is done to preserve these expensive items for special times.  A worthy idea, to be sure.  But one gets the feeling that one will look back over the years and say, "O elegant dishes, O silver fork and knife, I hardly knew thee." And this seems a shame when one's daily breakfast routine must suffer for it (and suffer much). Indeed, the experience of breakfast is treated like no other part of the day. This is easily corrected (and your whole day will thank you) by removing from the silver box one fork, spoon and knife; from the china cupboard one cup, plate and bowl.  And if you can obtain (for little money at that), or already possess, a sterling silver-plated tray upon which to rest these items, then that is better still. Even cereal thus enjoyed takes on a wonderful elegance, and your bread, toasted to just the right shade of golden brown, will look like breakfast for a king.  You will read the morning paper, ponder the upcoming day or watch the morning news with renewed vigor.  

Of course, this will all lack something if you breakfast in boxer shorts and a t-shirt.  Now, whether you retire for the night in pajamas, shorts, underwear or nothing, donning the robe upon rising is simply a must.  One cannot fully enjoy an excellent breakfast without being properly attired.  In fact, pajamas, a good robe and nice slippers are such a complete outfit you could, in theory, go to the corner store thus dressed to pick up some coffee or tea for your breakfast.  It would raise eyebrows, and possibly your wife would shake her head at the oddness of men.  But no one could doubt your elegant and gentlemanly bearing and style.  

So don't say, "I ate breakfast," say, "I've breakfasted...and my valet woke me up this morning."