Visiting Cads...I mean, cards

In Europe, as early as the 17th century and before, there have been cads. This being the sad reality of life in this world, you don't want just anyone coming over to your house. And this is where Calling Cards, otherwise known as Visiting Cards, come in.

The way it worked was pretty much like this: a fellow would want to stop by for visit to a pretty lady's house. But he hasn't been formally introduced or anything. So, he drops his calling card off with the trusty butler. If the female in the equation was open to a visit from said fellow, she would drop off a calling card with the fellow's butler. These calling cards might be seriously decorated and embossed, and usually bore the person's name only(unlike a calling cad, who was usually not embossed and was turned away at the door, sometimes with a kick in ye olde back region).

By now you've probably spotted the fatal flaw with this system. That's right, most of us don't have servants, butlers, valets, etc. But even a moderate middle class family in the 1800's had maids or servants of some sort. Oh that we could go back to that system! Alas, such is not our reality any longer, and when that reality started to wane so visiting cards fell generally out of use.

And yet...and yet, they still exist! They are making a sort of come back, and I like the idea. The new version may still be embossed and decorated, but the trick here is that they no longer merely reveal the person's name--they mention, as a business card would, contact information. This might include all of one's contact info (address, email, phone, fax) or just one or two of those things.

Should you get a Calling/Visiting card? Why not? And unlike a boring business card you can employ whatever graphics and the like that you, well, er, like. It's a tradition whose time of return has come! And heck, with printers these days, and a few sheets of card stock, you can print your own.

This segues wonderfully into some recommended links for this Wednesday:

If you don't want to make your own visiting cards, and you want bespoke (yes, bespoke) visiting cards, check out EXIMIUS. And it has a variety of other really great stuff.

Days of Elegance has some good photos of period Victorian calling cards.

Victoriana has bunches of, yes, Victoriana--including some good stuff on men's fashion of the mid-1800's.

With that, toodle-pip, lads!

Tea

Tea is a drink that is really old. Not any particular cup of tea, mind you (though no doubt some of you have sitting about your kitchen a cup or two of days old tea), but rather, the drinking of tea--tea qua tea.

A Short History of Tea

Tea began in China, and was used in religious stuff. How did it get to England? Well, there is one answer that always fits the bill when talking about ancient eastern stuff: Marco Polo.

Tea Today

That's all interesting, but what concerns us is that tea is delicious, and good for you. Why? I don't know why it's delicious. Its just one of those things--some people like it, some don't; there's no accounting for taste, as they say, although to be honest, I don't know who "they" are; but in any case people other than me. Marco Polo perhaps. Tea is good for us because it's got anti-oxidants in it. I am completely against oxidants myself, so I'm all for this. Anti-oxidants help prevent heart attacks and some types of cancer. Tea is also a hydrating drink, as much so as water (it used to be thought that tea was a dehydrating drink, but this has been found to be not only untrue, but entirely false).

What else can one say about tea? There are around 1500 types of tea, and amazing as it sounds, it seems that the Irish out drink the English when it comes to tea. England comes in second on the world stage of tea-drinking.

Which Comes First?

Is it milk first, or hot water first? And the answer is: Milk! It's true. I know, I can hear some of you flying into insane rages, dashing porcelain tea cups to smithereens and burning tea bags on the roof tops. Stop that. It's all been worked out scientifically and tastifically. When you've calmed down, click here.

There's a lot more that could be said of tea. Foe example: tea bags, or loose tea? Or, when is a proper tea-time? Well, that one does have an answer--technically, the proper tea-time (as in high-tea, with cakes and other yummy things) is at 4PM, and tides one over until a late-ish dinner. But if I'm wrong on that, I should hope our friend The English Preppy will correct me some time soon.

As for my current tea preference, I'm partial to Twinings. In the tea-bag form, that is.

With that, pip-pip, and if you're actually in England, or Ireland, drink a cup o' tea for me. It tastes better there.

Blasphemous Whipper-snappers

Ask the WDG Friday

"While perusing your blog recently, I noticed that you included in one post that you wished a return of the fedora. I would appreciate if you would include some rules for the use of a fedora. For example I have recently seen a re-emergence of the fedora, however it isn't the great expected reemergence but rather I've seen pre to young teens with cruddy jeans, t-shirts and flip flops out and about in a black and white checkered fedora. In my humble opinion such abuse of the fedora is tantamount to blasphemy. I look forward to continued reading of you blog. Sincerely, Michael" Reading this missive aloud--or "allowed" as many of today's youngsters write it--I became immediately aware of a tremendous crash, which, reverberating twice around the house, caused me to part ways with half of my martini. After a bit of top-quality sleuthing I discovered it originated in the kitchen. Jeeves was still laying on the floor amidst an array of pots, tubes of silver polish and kippers. OK, so that didn't happen really, but the thing is, it could. Every valet or butler that I know--and everyone knows I don't know any--would need emergency medical treatment after reading such a report. Alas, Michael is johnny-on-the-spot with his critique of these Fedora-wearing knaves. The Great Fedora Reemergence--as prophesied by Nostradamus--is surely not present in a jeans/flip flops/t-shirt combo. How should a gentleman wear a Fedora? A fedora goes with a suit, or a suit jacket or blazer/dress-pants combination, or possibly (this is my own rule, and I admit I could be wrong in this) when one is wearing dress pants, a sweater and a jacket of some sort; otherwise, minus a jacket, in this case I lean toward wearing an English driving cap. Anything less than such an outfit requires either something like an English driving cap, or a baseball cap. Trying to imagine someone in jeans, a t-shirt, flip-flops AND a Fedora is something I don't advise, since this can cause a seizure; actually seeing such an outfit can cause nausea, shrinking of the eye balls, swelling of the eyelids and even paralysis in severe cases of sartorial blasphemy. I don't even know what to say of a black and white checkered Fedora. I just looked up a photo of one. Wow. How can anyone see that and believe evil does not exist? The most common and universal Fedora colors are Brown, Black, Dark Grey,Light grey and white. There are various color configurations that work as well, though obviously I don't believe the black and white checkered is one of them. These solid colors are great because they can go with so many ensembles. I have merely a brown and a light grey (actually "silver belly"), and almost all my suits match one of them. I could surely use black, white and dark grey fedoras, but a gentleman must be patient in building up his wardrobe. There is one last detail in the above missive that really cannot be ignored. That issue is: flip-flops and sandals. For goodness sakes--leave sandals to children and females; flip-flops I think are for females alone. I don't know what else I can add to that--these types of footwear just look terrible on men. Quite ungentlemanly indeed. In a word, it's madness. [one caveat though--I'm speaking of Western society only; I have no expertise at all in the clothing traditions of other cultures.] Cheerio!

Five Gentlemanly Sartorial Items of Brilliance

Five Things, from the Houndstooth Kid, that ought, should, and hopefully will return to the fold of gentlemanly items of everyday greatness. As he says, there are more than 5, but one can only make so long a list before the cocktails kick in and concentration begins to fail. I would add to that list, most definitely, the Fedora.

Now, here's a question--what sartorial item would you like to see return to frequent use? Drop me a line, and if we get enough we'll publish a list. In the mean-time, enjoy the Houndstooth Kid's top 5 list.

A Purer Gentlemanliness

[Before getting on with this post, I’m afraid that the Well-Groomed Gentleman, our tie-expert, due to some personal matters, will no longer be joining us. We wish him well and all good, and perhaps one day he'll find he's able to rejoin our Gentleman’s Club for Gentlemen.]

So, you fancy yourself quite the gent, a veritable preux chevalier! You hold doors open for women and children; you don’t smite lumbering, side-walk blocking people with your umbrella, though you are sorely tempted to do so; you’ve a kind word for all, and you scatter sunshine, patience and kindness hither and yon. You've never burned down an orphanage either, nor thrown a brick at a cat. And the store window reflects back at you the visage of the proverbial "man about town!"

And then you get home. The gentlemanly semblance of hours' past dissipates like the morning dew and you find yourself being short with your wife and kids; getting angry at some trivial nonsense; interrupting people whilst they're speaking; and even, yes, slurping your soup and putting your elbows on the table! Good gracious man, what has become of you!?

Behold, gentlemen! This is where we gain a purer vision of how much the gentleman we really are—in truth, and not in our own fond fantasies. This is not an easy measurement to take. It's tough to see that in very truth we treat those we love as we wouldn't treat, for example, an annoying close-talker who won't leave us in peace.

I say "we" because I'm in the same boat. But this isn't about despair--when we know the truth, THEN we can really start to make something of ourselves, first in our families, with the people that we owe the best of what we can give rather than the remains of the day.

The real gentleman isn't perfect, actually--but he never stops working at it, humbly admitting his wrongs, and trying every day to do a good bit better.

As St. Francis De Sales said, "Have patience with everything, especially with yourself."

And if we meet on the sidewalk one day and you're blocking my way, watch for my umbrella.

Pip-pip!

Go Fly a Kite...

Ask the WDG Friday

Peter Stone asks, "What is the etiquette for ties--such as ties that refuse to stay in the proper place?"

That is an excellent question indeed, Herr Stein; I think almost all gents can sympathize with this dilemma. You're walking down the lane, a breeze comes along and whips your tie into your face. Some smart fellow walking past at that moment says, "Nice weather for kites, isn't it?" You resist the urge to hurl a brick at the man--out of virtue, perhaps, but especially because you haven't a brick on hand at the moment.

Or, if you've the nerve to read such a potential situation of horror, imagine this: You're walking down the lane, and, after you don't throw the brick, you see a female of astoundingly beautiful aspect walking toward you. You're not married either, and so as you saunter past you say, "Hell--" That's all you get out, because yet another breeze has tossed your tie into your face, hobbling your suave "hello there" just as it began to trot out of the gate. There goes that particular wifely possibility.

Blessedly, there are options, brilliant options, to prevent this scenario from becoming reality.

1) Wear a three-piece suit. Not only do they look smashing, and dapper to a degree, the vest prevents this lamentable tie-flapping situation.

2) Use a tie clip. This is, well, a clip, often of gold, silver or other precious metal, and it clips your tie to your shirt; and they look grand.

3) What I think is the best solution after a three-piece suit: a tie chain! This device has a clip which attaches to the shirt, but hides behind the shirt; attached to the clip is a loose chain. Again, these are often, but not always, of gold, silver, etc. The tie goes between the chain and the clip--only the chain showing--and looks the picture of elegance.

4) The tie-tack. For me, this is not a solution to recommend. It works alright, as would super glue, but the tack, or pin, goes through your tie. If you're like me, you don't want to put holes in your ties or smear them with glue; the ties I mean, not the holes.

Look here for vintage tie-clips and tie-chains.

Kites are awesome (though the string is sometimes hazardous), just don't use your tie for one. Flapping ties also make a gentleman appear to be not-all-together, and that's not an appearance for a gentleman.

Oh, one last note--be prepared! If you're planning on keeping your two-piece suit buttoned up, plan on it being--despite your sure knowledge to the contrary--unbuttoned at some point, and in view of all. A gentleman should be as prepared as possible for any eventuality--if you're not wearing a three-piece suit, bring a tie-clip or tie-chain along for the ride. Your married future may depend on it.

Toodle-pip!

Preppy Sites from across the Pond

This Wednesday Tip o' the hat goes to...

The English Preppy: This is a wonderful site from the English country side, founded by a confessed "...young fogey and lover of all that is classic and beautiful." A gentleman's site? Nay, a lady's site! For gentleman? No--for our lady readers! Yes, we have them here! Sure, it's mostly gents, but I'm guessing ladies like to know that gents still exist, and they're wondering what we're all about. The answer of course is: All things gentlemanly. But I digress. This is a gentlemanly bow and a tip of the Fedora to a wonderful ladies' site. Thanks English Preppy! Do visit this site about A BON VIVANT LIVING THE GOOD LIFE IN THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE!

Coffee

Some of you may have already noticed that, at the very bottom of the page, there is an ad for Gevalia coffee. Why an ad for Gevalia coffee? Because a) coffee is an essential element in the universe (Cf on the periodic table, which is a table of chemical abbreviations published periodically), and b) Gevalia is the official coffee maker to the King of Sweden. It is, in a word, excellent coffee.

The deal is also geunuinely excellent, and is one of the few deals I have ever accepted. The reason I like their deals is simply this--when you take their offer, you are truly bound to buy no more from them, ever. But, in addition, if you want to purchase their coffee, you can set the delivery times from weekly to only every 3 months or so and you can even suspend deliveries on a temporary basis. What it amounts to is that even for those of us who lack funds, this is in most cases a completely workable system. Here is what Gevialia is offering in this particular deal (you can click on the below ad to go to their site):

Gevalia--it's coffee fit for a King, and affordable for we, who, though perhaps having a coat of arms, are yet not Kings.

The Lost Art of Bowing

The Etiquetted Gentleman VII

[A belated Happy Fourth of July to everyone! What with celebrating the successful completion of the Revolutionary War and the beginning of our country, and resolving a bunch of difficulties of the sort that life heaves at a fellow now and again, I'm afraid that posting rather got away from me at the end of last week.

Since last week we've had a few interesting happenings, one of which is a great website from across the pond in Merry England. But we'll come to that on Wednesday, the proper day for tipping the hat to newly found sites of genius.]

It’s fair to guess that if you asked your average, modern day kid, “What on earth has happened to bowing?” they would look at you with that particular look so many of them have perfected, that look which says, with all the eloquence and subtlety they can muster, “Are you talking to me? What weird, old-person stuff are you pestering me with this time?”

These are the same people that have grown up in a world that greets any other human being—including the Queen of England—with “Hey.”

A bow and a tip of the hat (if a gentleman is wearing a hat)/"hey." One can see immediately that there is a world of difference between the two. Is it merely a difference between a former time and the current time, like the difference between bell-bottom pants constructed of unnatural colors and alien materials as opposed to a handmade Kiton suit, circa 2009? No, no, there's something more to it, me thinks, ( as Shakespeare said to Othello).

Consider bowing: Bowing has always been, in essence, an outward sign of a deep recognition that one is confronted with a fellow human being. We are each absolutely unique and absolutely unrepeatable. To be confronted with another human being is an astonishing thing, each person requiring immense respect and honor. From this recognition proceeds the bow.

Compare this to, “Hey.” Commentary isn't really required to see the utter difference between the two. I'm not saying "hey" doesn't have a place; it works just fine between family and close friends. But in other circs, the nonchalance of this greeting is a bit like walking into an acquaintance's house uninvited--unless one lives in the house, or is staying there as a guest, one has no right to such intimacy.

But even amongst close friends a case can be made for the good old bow, because however close a friend that person may be they still fall under the heading of, "absolutely unique and absolutely unrepeatable."

The bow is a deeply respectful, elegant, gentlemanly greeting. And friends may be just the place to begin anew this tradition that has fallen by the wayside. Imagine walking down the street to your favorite cafe, and you see a lad give a slight bow in greeting to another lad, or to a friend who happens to be a human being of the female variety. That would be grand, truly grand!

This tip of the hat goes to...

Dapper: If you need formal wear for most any occassion, do take a good glance at Dapper. It's in England, so rentals are out of the question for many of us--but you can also buy sartorial items from their site. And if you haven't the euros to do that, it's still worth persuing their website.